Story byMiss A
When your Inlove , you act differently , the way you look at that person, the way they make you feel, the way you react , the fact that you would do anything for this person even things you don’t normally like doing, but you don’t mind doing it then because of how you feel about this person. Right !!
That’s what people normally act like when they are inlove, what does this mean?
Does love just make us act Stupid if it makes us do things we don’t really want to?
I don’t see it that way this is why.
Normal people fall in-love and that feels amazing for a while, for some it’s weeks, for others it’s months but for me it’s always.
You see , most people start to love a person or rather get attached to that partner, the same with woman and men.
They get attached…
They say and think they love the person yes, but once that (in love🥰) spark is gone , things are never the same!
I’m sure you would agree.
It’s like a puppy doesn’t stay a puppy but you wish it would.
Love never stays the same people say they wish it would but never really mean it!
What normally tends to happen is all the ❤️ Love and affection tends to fade over time.
The gleam in your eyes are no longer there, the excitement has faded and when you get home you no longer want to tell each other everything or spend all your time together.
You want to do your own thing and when it’s time for bed!?
There is either no sexual attraction anymore which means no sex
or even if your in the mood , you won’t say anything because you’ve grown apart and you don’t feel like you could just grab him or her and have passionate sex like you once did.
Your just worried that she will say no I’m not in the mood or he knows he came home dirty why won’t he shower and groom himself for me again like he used to.
In most cases both parties stopped caring about their looks and how they act around the other person, and by the time they realize what they have done it’s too late.
Either way both men and woman have their wants and desires which don’t normally get talked about.
Ever heard the saying , It’s easier to talk to a stranger!
When your in a relationship long enough you don’t run home with excitement because you want to spend all your time with her and tell her everything . Like you once did, mostly because your worried about the way she will react!
You love her but the in-love spark is no longer there so this is what happens.
Life gets boring and predictable and your Sex life goes down the drain with it.
Let’s not even talk about when you have kids.
Then most people have to schedule when they want to have Sex.
You have to admit that is pretty crazy.
Ok let’s see. We can do it Tuesday and Friday! How does that sound? Ehr yea ok, but when Tuesday or Friday comes something getsjilp the way or just life in general gets in the way and what do you know.
This is one of the harsh realities of Life.
I was asked a question last night that really got me thinking.
WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN TO YOU?
If you could describe exactly what love means to you. What would you say?
This is where I am different and because of this I’ve also had failed relationships, which I never really thought about until now.
When I’m inlove I give the person all my love .
All my attention, affection, lots of sex but the problem here is my in-love spark never fades.
I always want to give the person all my love and affection and as much sex as possible, even after 4 years.
This is why my first serious relationship ended after 4 years!
I was told I want too much love and affection and when I asked for a better explanation.
I was told you wane hug me and hold me all the time.
I feel like your too clingy.
That was ouch! Clingy? How!?
I was the one that never changed the way I act and feel… How does this make me the clingy one?
It’s not like I wanted to follow you everywhere and act like a stalker or tell you who to hang with!
“Because I had absolute trust in him and never in a million years would have expected this! Cheating and then bringer her to my job”
All I did was wanted love when you came home from work and we had some time to spend together…
I’m really confused here!?
Can someone please explain to me how I am the one that’s clingy when I expect some love and attention when we both are home and have some time together, we might have been together 4 years but why does that mean you should change how you act with someone you supposedly love?
What exactly is the point of coming home to someone you “love” when you don’t really want to spend time with that person.Miss-Confused.
Obviously everyone needs some alone time once in a while but when you make a commitment to love and cherish the other person till you die, it’s not supposed to be just when you feel like it.
I don’t think people that make that vow really realize what they are promising!
It does not mean you have to give up all your time doing that but you have to prioritize your life to make time for the people you want to be with or at least do what you claimed you would.
Unless that changed.
Then why bother staying around.
This caused the other person to have certain expectations which you also vowed.
So this is my point, and the exact same reason I do not believe in getting married.
If you no longer feel that way.
Let the person know how you feel and rather separate ways.
Instead of being together in a relationship where neither want each other and both are miserable 😩 or someone end up heartbroken!
This is unnecessary.
Don’t treat him or her like shit 💩, because you don’t feel like talking or your not in the mood for them.
You see most people in relationships especially marriage stop really caring, noticing, grooming, complimenting, sharing and wanting to try!
This is the main cause people grow apart and relationships fail.
The question I cannot answer is why would someone cheat when your happy with the person your with and you still want to be together, perhaps a lapse in judgment or a moment of weakness!
However (in my books) this is something that is unforgivable if you had no intention of leaving each other.
Marriage Is like a mystery contract…
Your signing a contract that means you no longer have to care about anything!
Your signing up for a life that will eventually end up holding you back!
This is unfair to both of you.
Your stringing the other person along to no end if you have lost your affection and want, to be and look you’re best for your partner.
For what reason.
Perhaps because you don’t want to be alone?
Either way I don’t think that is love ❤️!
This is what I believe.
If you vow to love and cherish someone forever you should always take that persons feelings into consideration!
Don’t take out problems you had in other places on the one person your supposed to share things with.
that might just comfort you and help you work through it, don’t get home and be in a bad mood with them because you had a bad day.
Still show them you love them by saying those simple 3 words, some affection like a hug or a kiss wouldn’t hurt either.
Show them you want to talk about things that’s making you angry or frustrated instead of just being mean and taking it out on the people that don’t deserve it.
By doing all these things your making your own life harder and killing that spark that’s faded even more.
So here is my answer.
What is love to me?
Love to me as a woman is someone that wants to be with you and talk to you about things.
Someone that’s excited to spend alone time with you again.
Someone that wants to share everything with you and knows you feel exactly the same.
Someone you can trust with all your wants , secrets and desires, someone who won’t judge you for things you want or have come to believe & knows you wouldn’t either.
Someone you believe and trust won’t hold things against you.
Someone that shows affection because they want to and it makes you feel good to be around them.
Someone that will always make you feel like your important in their life’s and that even though you’ve been together for a long time you would still do things you don’t like to just because you love them and because you know it’s important to them and acknowledge your believes even if you don’t believe the same thing.
Someone who is willing to compromise and not just think it’s my way or the highway.
Someone that includes you in decisions and makes you feel like an equal.
This is what I think 🤔 true love is.
True love to me is both people wanting to do these things for each other regardless of how long they have been together, both still wanting to look their best for each other.
Both wanting to share with each other and listen and care about what the other has to say.
Someone that will comfort you and protect you someone that will love you regardless of mistakes you might have made.
Someone that will forgive you when you do something unintentionally that hurt them.
Someone that will always be there for you.
Someone that will not hold your flaws and faults against you to get their way.
Things I think true love should be.
Someone that shows you compassion, takes your feelings into consideration, comforts you when your sad.
Tells you when your heading down the wrong road , guides you when you need it & might not know it.
Am I just dreaming in thinking all these things are possible ?Miss – Forgiveness
Let me clarify a few things. When i say you want to do things for them because you love them, this doesn’t mean that if you don’t do things you don’t love them.
However if you don’t because you don’t want to even though it’s important to the other person.
That in my eyes are a sign of not caring anymore or not caring enough to want to help this person when your in the position to make life a little easier for them.
Do you agree or not?
Let’s say you have a work emergency and your husband or wife is having an emotional breakdown.
What would you do? & What would you have done back when you were still in love?
You see there is a mojor difference in human behavior when we are in love as to when we just “love” but in my eyes it shouldn’t be any different.
Why? There’s a difference between loving someone and just not wanting to be alone or single.
If the spark is gone.
So is the love!
I believe that there is someone out there for everyone.
Doesn’t matter how crazy or boring you are. The question is just weather you are willing to take the chance to open up completely and taking the chance to reveal your true self.
You never know. She or he might be just as crazy as you and you missed your chance to be with someone you more then likely belong with. You’ll never know unless you take a chance!
You must be thinking 🤔 how does she know. Doing those things sound easy but it’s not. If your not normally used to being so straight forward how do you share your feelings when it comes to stuff you want?
What do you think the best solution would be? Remember to send me your comments !