All my life I’ve been kind of shy and Conservative. I always believed that’s the way the world is & that you should keep those kinds of things to yourself. Expressing yourself too much sexually as a youngster would make you a target and when your older would make you a slut.

I’ve never been interested in doing it with just anyone , but I have always wanted to try all sorts of things and be as sexual and spontaneous as I could dream. Always thought I would one day have that with the right person.



Is our relationship doomed after 14 years ?

I guess it’s bit of tricky situation. You see I have always been more attracted to older men. Yes I know If you a psychologist you would probably tell me it’s because I was abandoned by my father as a child but to be honest all that doesn’t really mean anything to me.

Growing up in a tough life, with life threatening situations almost on a daily basis makes those kind of thoughts non existent.

I’ve always been told I have an old soul because ever since I was young I got along better with older people both men and woman but that’s besides the point.

The point I was trying to get to is the fact that I’ve always found more experienced and mature people attractive in that way but I mean still you need to have a sense of Humor, be spontaneous, sometimes just smile for no reason.

Anyway no point in getting into the personality traits right now 😁.

Let’s get back to the story

I’ve always been very shy and conservative when it came to expressing my sexuality, but I’ve always felt like there was a part of me just begging to come out.

Naturally I fought against it, thinking 🤔 this is not how society works & even if it was I would still have been too shy to act on my feelings.

But then

First the lockdown happened, then I had that near death experience (another story) that’s when a lot of things changed for me.

I no longer feel like I should hide how I really feel. I no longer feel like I should hide how sexual I really am. I no longer feel like I need to suppress any of the feelings and thoughts and emotions.


I’m afraid my partner doesn’t feel the same way and quite frankly his not taking it too well.

These are the things I want…..

  • I want to have sex all the time.
  • I love ❤️ giving bjs and I think I’m pretty good at it. Look unfortunately for you guys not all ladies are with me on this one & you want to know a secret? It’s mostly because there is always something there. Not properly cleaned, it could be hair quite frankly could just be a spot you missed while washing & this could put your woman off. The thought running through her mind would be omg what am I gone get in my mouth this time.
  • I want us to be able to share anything with each other no matter how unsure we are about the secret and not be judged. This means both not just one.
  • I want us to be able to watch porn together instead of him hiding it from me. Who knows maybe we can learn a thing or two. It’s just stupid both watching just not together.
  • I want to feel wanted. As a woman.
  • I want to feel sexy and well quite frankly if a woman needs to feel appreciated and her man ignores it she’s going to find it somewhere else. Even if that’s means social media, and no guys it does not mean she is going to mess around. More then likely it means she’s looking for attention and not getting it from the person she wants it from. So we improvise.
  • I want to feel loved. Every hug or kiss makes a big difference and when I say kiss I don’t mean the way you would kiss your grandma. Don’t we all miss those days as teens where we could just make out when ever and where ever we wanted? That’s what I’m talking about. Surprise your woman and grab her once in a while. Even if it’s just for a kiss 💋. We’ll work up to the rest eventually.

This is the same problem I have with my man. He doesn’t have the courage to just grab me when ever he feels like it. Personally I would love it. Would never say no. Unfortunately that’s more then likely not the case with most woman on the other hand showing any kind of woman your dominant hand once in a while might only be good for your relationship.

Look I’m no expert when it comes to expressing your sexuality. Only recently started with mine but my situation is a little different.  
My partner is 20 years older then me, we have two children and we have been together for 14 years now. We haven’t always wanted to stay together and was on the brink of splitting up this year.
Sex has changed everything for us.

A piece of advice to all the men out there. Woman do not take rejection very well especially when it comes to sex. 𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕜 𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣, 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕞𝕝𝕪 & 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕗𝕦𝕝 𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕖 , 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕚𝕤 …. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕣𝕖𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕝 𝕟𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕩 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦.